For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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