Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
