Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I didn't notice because vodka
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
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