You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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