I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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