I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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