whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
