Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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