By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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