He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
