Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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