someone get that fucking seahorse.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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