Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize