am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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