I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
