so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
