After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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