who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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