it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize