1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I cannot find my penis.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize