I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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