I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
