I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
