I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
