Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize