if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
