make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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