Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
