Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
3 2 1 whiskey
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
