You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
