Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
