If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
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