You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
