i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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