Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
