He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
