Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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