I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
