Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize