is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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