I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
