You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
