I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
