i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
