If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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