this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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