I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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