We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize