new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
