I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
