Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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