i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
