I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
