last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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