Whod you bang
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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