I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
it's not cheating when I paid for it
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
