if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize