after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
