You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
