also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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