After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
